In Which Sasuke's Whipped
by Ayumi Uchiha
Summary: In which Sasuke tries to deny him being whipped. With mentions of crazy sex positions and all-around fun. Sasuke/Sakura.
1. Chapter 1

**Ayu-chan: Hello people. :) Ayu-chan here! Enjoy and review, yo! XD  
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**Dedicated to: my dear readers. Continue reviewing. :)**

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People may not be aware of it, some may even gasp at the shocking revelation of it all, and some may shake their heads and protest endlessly, but in fact, Uchiha Sasuke is a real softie at heart.

He greets people when he sees them. Of course he greets them in his mind! What did you expect?

He smiles whenever he sees something he likes. Something he likes refers to the blood, gore and violence, but at least he smiles when other people cringe. Yes, he smiles internally.

He laughs when he hears a good joke. A good joke being something that involves violence, blood and gore, but uh-huh, he laughs in his mind again.

He cries whenever something bad happens. Something bad meaning something un-bloody, un-gory, and un-violent happens. He cries internally.

That, people, is how sensitive Sasuke really is.

This is the same indication of sensitivity that his girlfriend, Haruno Sakura, felt when she asked him to hug her in front of so many people.

It happened during their annual Konoha ninja's reunion, planned by Gai and co-planned by Lee (even though we both know they just wanted to show off their matching colourful pink pens.)

Sakura was drinking a lot and Sasuke was very worried. How the hell were they going to go home at this moment? Sakura promised him that they would "make love until their neighbors shouted bloody hell" but they couldn't do that if Sakura was wasted, now, could they?

This was the exact reason why he was annoyed when his best friend and sometimes bar-hopping buddy, Naruto, teased him about being whipped. He noticed it when he saw Sasuke and Sakura arrive while wearing two identical shirts with the statement, "Bite me – I'm in love."

"Dude. You are so whipped!!!" Naruto shouted while high-fiving Lee.

Sasuke smirked. "Why'd you high-five Lee? He doesn't even have a girlfriend."

Lee blushed. "I do have a girlfriend!" He shouted while grabbing the nearest possible person next to him. Unfortunately for him, he grabbed Shino.

Shino's ass, to be more precise.

"Dude!!" Naruto yelled. "Shino's a guy! Dude, you're gay!!" Maybe ramen overload prompted Naruto's fetish for the word "Dude". We don't really know how it came about.

Lee blushed some more. "Well, yeah fine! I'm gayyyyy! At least I'm not whipped like Sasuke." He said while running. Shino's bugs were after him.

Kakashi chose to enter the conversation since he was bored of reading his book anyway. He already did those positions. How boring. "Heh. I bet Sasuke's on the bottom 'cause he's whipped."

Sasuke blushed. How dare they! How the hell did Kakashi know his favourite position? Someone must have installed security cameras on their love room!

"Dude! He's blushing!" Naruto shouted. "Whipped! Whipped!"

"What's wrong with that position? Neji loves that." Tenten smiled, pinching Neji's cheeks. Face cheeks, okay? Don't get any funny ideas now.

"TMI!" Hinata shouted, closing her eyes shut! "Too much information! I really didn't want to hear about my cousin's sex life." She made a face, obviously disgusted.

"Well, I happen to like the Frog position." Jiraiya winked.

"Please!" Shikamaru said. "Please don't ask him what that position does. Dammit. No, just no." With that said, he walked out of the room, followed by Ino and Temari.

Shikamaru's such a ladies' man.

"So, what does that position entail?" Sasuke asked, obviously interested.

"It entails one girl and a guy who's NOT whipped!" Jiraiya shouted, high-fiving Naruto.

"Dude! Good one, pervert!!" Naruto danced his win-awesome dance and pointed at Sasuke again.

"I've had enough of this!!" Sasuke said. He was about to stab Naruto with a ruler just because it's more fun that way when Sakura, who was obviously oblivious to all the teasing, called him.

"Sasuke dear?" she asked, obviously drunk. "Can you give me a glass of water please? I couldn't move."

Everyone looked at Sasuke. Sasuke didn't care. He gave her a glass of water. The thing about Sakura was that if she was drunk, she would remember everything that happened. He didn't want her to remember him as a bad boyfriend who didn't give her water when she was drunk.

"Heh! Whipped." Kakashi teased. He was having a lot of fun.

"Being youthful is good! But being Sasuke is lame because the fountain of youth cries for him! Poor, whipped kid." Gai exclaimed, crying.

"She's drunk. I was just trying to be a good boyfriend." Sasuke reasoned out.

"Sasuke?" Sakura pouted.

Oh shit. Sasuke remembered another thing. Sakura becomes way too flirty and clingy whenever she's drunk. Shit. Kill him now.

"Hn?" Sasuke asked while everyone was watching them.

"Give me a hug, please?" She looked at him and smiled. "Hug?"

Oh shit shit. If he hugged her, everyone would never let him hear the end of it. Shit. He couldn't hug her now!! Everyone would tell him he's whipped.

This, my dear friends, is the exact reason why Sasuke didn't hug her, Sakura wailed endlessly, punched him straight out, broke up with him and left him bleeding at the party all in a span of fifteen minutes.

_Shit. We should have just stayed home and made kinky sex together. _Sasuke thought.

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**Ayu-chan: I'm planning to make a next chapter wherein Sasuke apologizes to Sakura. What do you think? ^^ Suggestions are welcome! Review. Love.** :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Ayumi-chan: **Hello people, did you miss Ayu-chan? :D

**Disclaimer: **Naruto and all of its characters do not belong to Ayumi Uchiha. :)

**Thank you to the following: **DarkAngelRakell, FearIsJustAFeeling , C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only, zw, Sasuke is Hot 0012 , whitexgodess, akatsukibluecloud

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Sasuke was in a dilemma. How was he going to win Sakura back? _Damn Naruto. This is his entire fault. That crazy ass-head. _

He didn't know what to do. How the hell should he apologize?!

"Just go to her house and say you're sorry." Lee suggested.

It has been a week since Sakura broke up with Sasuke. He had enough of Sakura's cold shoulder treatment. He loved her, cherished her and wanted to do everything to win her back.

Of course, he wanted some bed action as well. It _was _one week already.

These are the reasons why he invited all of the male ninja in Konoha to give him advice. What better people to ask help from than guys who also mess up a lot?

"Say sorry? That's so laaaaame!" Naruto protested, shoving Lee out of the way. "Dude, whatever you do, don't say sorry! It'll make you sound so girly."

"Naruto, you're such a jerk. I shouldn't have invited you here." Sasuke said, glaring at Naruto. "We broke up because of you!"

"Eh?" Naruto was confused. "Why? Oh damn! Sakura's falling for me, isn't she?" He grinned. "Too bad for her. Hinata's my true love now!"

"Are you kidding me?" Sasuke asked. "Are you really such a moron?" He was about to kick Naruto in his family jewels when Kakashi interrupted.

"You should write her a letter. Girls dig that." He smirked. "I promise you."

Sasuke contemplated Kakashi's suggestion. "Hn. You've got a point there."

Kakashi smirked. "Oh yes. I have a _point_. I have a really really big and long _point_. Girls love my _point_. My _point_ is—"

"Dammit, Kakashi! Is everything perverted in your perspective?" Sasuke glared at him.

"Sorry. I couldn't resist." Kakashi smiled.

"I vote Neji to write the letter!" Naruto raised his hand. "He knows big words."

"Oh yes. Neji knows big _words. _Tenten loves Neji's big _words. _Neji's _words _turn her on." Kakashi smirked.

"You're such a hopeless dirty old man." Sasuke told Kakashi. He sighed. "But yes, your letter suggestion was good."

"Let's get started, then." Shikamaru sighed. "This is so time-consuming."

"Shikamaru's annoyed 'cause he could be having a threesome right now!" Jiraiya said, pointing at Shikamaru. "Oi, you're such a filthy hormonal kid." He grinned. "Can I join you?"

"Not on your life." Shikamaru answered.

"Just so we're clear," Shino started to speak, "Lee and I are not dating. I am perfectly straight."

Everyone nodded. But inside their heads, they all said, "Yeah right," at the same time.

"Okay, okay, write these." Neji said.

"_Dear Sakura, my love,_

_ I am writing this letter with the hope that you may find in your heart to grant me exculpation. I have been such a nincompoop for having failed to give you physical affection---"_

Naruto groaned. "Neji, that letter sounds so formal and unromantic!" He shook his head. "I should try writing the letter! Write these, dude!"

_"Dear Saku-chan, _

_ Ne, I'm sorry, okay? I have flowers with me right now, so if you want me back, you should---"_

"Moron," Shikamaru said. "What a downright stupid letter. Dammit. Just listening to it makes me feel nauseous." He smirked. "Write these."

_"Dear Sakura, _

_ I love you and you love me. I screwed up, okay? But that's what love is about! It's about screwing up and forgiving. So I think---"_

"Shikamaru," Jiraiya interrupted. "That letter's not bad. But I think Sakura needs to read something else." He cleared his throat. "Okay Sasuke, write these."

Sasuke's eyes widened. "Hell no! I'm never writing anything that _you _say! Dirty pervert!"

"Hah!" Naruto laughed. "Dude, you got rejected!"

Jiraiya pouted. "Fine, suit yourself."

"Let me do it!" Lee shouted. "Write these!"

_"Dear Sakura dear, _

_ My fountain of youth is crying endlessly for you, and it will keep crying and crying and ultra-mega-super crying until you---"_

"Lee is laaaaame!" Naruto teased. "What a loser."

"Hey." Shino chose to speak again. "Give me a chance, okay? Write these."

_"Sakura, _

_ Hey, I have your prized possession with me right now. Don't worry, it's safe. But if you won't come meet me at---"_

Naruto was disgusted. "What the eff, Shino?!" he shouted. "That's a freaking ransom letter!" He chose to tease Shino. "Is that the sort of thing that Lee likes?"

Shino said nothing. Instead, he released all his bugs toward Naruto.

"Dude! I was kidding! Grrrrr!" said Naruto as he was being chased by bugs.

"Alright, I got it!" Kakashi grinned. "Write these, Sasuke."

_"Dear Saku,_

_ I have a big and long surprise for you~ I bet you want this too, don't you? It's been a week now, baby. I want you so bad---"_

Sasuke realized what he was writing. "You bastard!" He fumed. "I was writing a dirty porn-quality letter!"

"Yeah, so? I told you, didn't I? Girls dig that."

"You are nasty." Sasuke said. "Shit. This is going nowhere. Everything that you guys say is crap!!" He frowned. "At this rate, I'm never gonna get Sakura back!"

I take that back. Maybe Sasuke should have invited female ninja instead?

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**Ayumi-chan: **So did you guys enjoy it? Next chapter will be what we're all waiting for! Sasuke's own letter for Sakura. :)

I would love to read your comments. :) For those who'll review, expect your name on the next chapter! ^^


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